On your trip to Thailand one of the things you must try out is a Thai happy ending massage. For those of you that are new and don’t know what a happy ending is, it’s basically where the Thai girl “finishes” you off with either a blow job, hand job or even sex in some cases.
If this intrigues you but you want to know more and what to expect, this article is going to explain the process to you so that when you come to Thailand, whether you want a happy ending in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket or even Chiang Mai, you’ll be best prepared.
The first question you might ask is, Oscar, how much is this going to cost me? Relax my friend, it’s pretty cheap. If you’re from a western country you’d probably have to blow a good part of your paycheque to get something remotely close. You’d be better off to con your wife or girlfriend to do it for you – yea that’s not gonna happen!
Happy Ending Thai Massage Cost
Here’s a list and the prices are based in Bangkok. It will vary slightly across the country but here is a general idea and probably what you will pay.
- Thai Massage: 300 Baht
- Oil Massage: 400 Baht
- Hand Job: 500 Baht
- Blow Job: 700-1,000 Baht
- Sex: 1,000 – 2000 Baht
It’s important to know the difference between a “happy ending massage parlour” and a regular massage parlour. Usually if there are girls scantily clad sitting outside the business yelling “MASSSSSAGE” to every tourist or farang walking by – is probably a happy ending massage establishment.
If you don’t see any girls out front and enter the building to see middle aged women very respectably dressed, it’s NOT a happy ending place. Don’t embarrass yourself and ask for it because you’ll be met with a lot of jeers!
Keep in mind with the above prices, the hand, blow job and sex are extras so you have to pay for either the Thai massage or Oil massage. My preference is the oil massage – it’s only 100 baht more – that’s like 3 bucks!
What to Expect in a Thai Happy Ending Massage
Once you walk in, you’ll have a seat and be greeted by the mamasan. A mamasan is basically the lady that looks after the girls and the one you would ask questions to – especially if you are looking for a girl that likes certain things.
You will then be presented with a menu. This menu lists all the services offered and the prices. There’s no room for negotiation and don’t even think about negotiating!
In the menu, you’ll see things like hand job, blow job, prostrate massage, full service etc. Pick what you like. However a word of caution. One time I didn’t take a good look at the girls BEFORE choosing what I wanted and it was a big mistake. Not one of the girls turned me on and I couldn’t get a refund.
So moral of the story is, if you don’t see any girls you like, simply just leave. Be nice and say you forgot your wallet or forgot to take out some cash – that always works for me!
So if you do see a chick you like where you’d love to get down and dirty with, then choose accordingly on the menu. Remember most of these places do expect you to pay up front, so make sure you choose your girl first.
If you don’t see the girls, politely ask the mamasan if you can. Most places the girls will be hanging around anyway so it’s easy to see them.
After you paid for your services, picked the girl, you’ll be given some slippers and they’ll stow away your shoes for you. You will be lead to the room with your Thai girl and this is a good time to check out her ass.
Once in the room, you’ll completely undress and wrap a provided towel around you. Your girl will fetch some things like condoms, oil, etc while you change. Once she’s back, the fun begins.
First up is a shower where you will take it with her. This is almost my favourite part as I love having a chick wash my dick and balls. Sometimes she’ll even suck you right in the shower which is great. Remember, this all depends on what you picked in the menu!
Next, you’ll be dried off and head to the bed. You’ll get a massage which is very relaxing and if you have ever had a “real” Thai massage like I have, it’s not the same at all. Real Thai massages can be painful, this experience is the exact opposite.
Whatever you chose on the menu is what you’ll get towards the end. So if it’s full service then you can have sex with her, if it’s just a BJ, then that’s all you’ll get.
Normally you don’t get this but in some shops they will offer this to you as an ‘upgrade.’ It also depends on the girl. If you bust a nut really quick, she may give you another go. If she does, tip her and tip her better than you would if she didn’t.
How it Ends
When all is done, you’ll take a solo shower and get dressed. It’s a pretty good experience and especially good if you’re nice to her and show her some respect. That’s just common sense anyway.